Top 5 Stripclubs to Visit this Valentines


Why not get a lapdance on February 14th with your partner and my list of the top 5 stripclubs to visit this Valentines? I’ve made a list of the best stripclubs in London – embrace the love in the air and the Fifty Shades effect and get kinky!  London is full of stripclubs but which ones can you visit with your girlfriend or have a drink in without spending a months pay cheque?

Here are my top 5 stripclubs to visit this Valentine’s weekend in London.

Secrets Covent Garden

Secrets hidden gem of a club, with a sumptuous interior, a swing next to the bar and comfortable lounge seats strewn around as if you are in a  first class airport lounge. Its practically opposite Holborn tube station so is perfect for an after-work drink if your office is in central London.  Secrets is a chain of clubs, and commendably they don’t allow the floor to get packed with ladies – great for couples who like to have a good time without being harassed.


Really looking to spoil your lady this Valentine’s weekend? Well here’s a club right next to Bond Street and Oxford Street – you can literally take your lady here after spoiling her at the shops – it’s open from 9:30pm until 6am at the weekends (Selfridge’s shuts at 9pm, so you can practically walk right in!) The club looks like a vaudeville theatre –  red curtains and a sweeping stage – but it’s small enough to keep that intimate vibe.

The Mayfair Club

Halfway through my top 5 stripclubs to visit this Valentines is for the kind of man who always has a backup plan.  Well this stripclub is right opposite Mahiki’s, nightclub d’jour amongst London’s Tatler party pages. You can grab some lapdances then go dance yourselves across the road!  It’s only a stripclub Monday to Friday, but it shuts at 6am… so you could go all night and spend Valentine’s Day in bed with your missus.

The Horns

Yes, it’s a pub – and who would take their girlfriend to a pub for Valentine’s? But this pub is different – a real ol’boozer with a curving wooden bar, beer on tap and a stage in the corner with some of the best poledancers you’ve ever seen.  You stick a couple of quid in the pint glass for every stage show, so this is a cheapie option. They’ve converted the upstairs into a private dance area… essentially the usual pub but with chairs and booths dotted around. Plus it’s in Shoreditch, so you can eat and drink out like the hipster couple you are before popping in for a quick visit.

The East London Stripper Party

It’s not a club BUT do you fancy a proper kinky party? The East London Strippers Collective throw monthly parties at Club Aquarium – London’s only nightclub with a not-so-secret pool and hot tub.

here’s a picture of me enjoying myself WAY TOO MUCH 😉

Top 5 stripclubs to visit

Having fun with fellow feisty strippers


Each month is themed so expect a night of Soho Sleaze and 70’s glamour, in an alternative Valentine’s night out organised by strippers themselves – activist campaigning strippers nonetheless, full of personality and flair.  An ever-changing line-up of performers, striptease starlets and award winning pole performers – check their facebook for the latest updates.

Ticket’s are on Biletto and are under a tenner.



I hope you enjoy trying out my top 5 clubs to visit this Valentines as much as I enjoyed drinking, dancing and debaucherising at them over the years.  Why don’t you drop me a comment and tell me how your night went?



About author


Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...

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