The Lookalike Dancer


The lookalike affect sweeps through your average stripper demographic in waves.  Ever since Cheryl Cole became the nation’s sweetheart, all the dancers have gone brunette, with long luscious extensions falling in waves down their backs.  Shockingly, they now outnumber the blondes so much that some nights I am the only blonde in the club!

This trend is set to continue apace now that Kate Middleton, with her swingy brunette blowdry, is on the front cover of every tabloid looking fabulous, rich, and like the sexkitten who got the cream – and which dancing girl wouldn’t want to aspire to that?

Lookalikes fall into two camps – those who do it because they want to be like beautiful woman ‘Miss x’, and those who, frankly, look just like ‘Miss x’.  But seeing as the judging panel is made up of drunk and horny guys, who-looks-like-who is fairly debatable.  For example, I’ve been compared to;

  • both the ginger AND blonde one from Girls Aloud,
  • Betty Boo (???)
  • Marilyn Monroe
  • Scarlett Johannesen (yes please)
  • Kate Hudson
  • Debbie Harry (awesome)
  • Some girl off Neighbours
  • Some girl off Eastenders (eeek!)
  • And naturally, an ex-girlfriend/wife/daughter, although this usually means that there is no way in hell I’m getting a dance, unless the guy is totally perverted.

As you can see from the range above, dancers can look like all sorts of beautiful women.  But the rare lady who does actually look like a spitting image of a readily recognisable face – or body – is practically guaranteed to make bank with the gentleman present.

I knew a girl who was the absolute double for Pamela Anderson, and she did great – but not as well as a brunette with luscious REAL locks who looked like the provocative 15yr old Brooke Shields in the 1980s jeans ad. As she looked like every guy over 30 childhood fantasies, and had a friendly Australian accent to boot, her smile got her places – and dances.

Just goes to show that what men want can be triggered in all sortsa ways – including who you look like, past and present….

About author


Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...

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