Reviewing Platinum Lace club- a dancer’s experience

Editors choice

Platinum Lace club is a striptease superclub in London’s Leicester Square. With its silver and purple coat of arms branded across the doors, menus and even the floor it oozes style and confidence. Once you’ve ventured down the stairs underground it opens up into a big and bustling space. A long bar greets you as you enter, with plenty of room to order drinks and stand around to take in the majesty of Platinum Lace club.

As soon as you have a drink in your hand, girls can approach. A typical Platinum Lace club dancer is well groomed, with flawless hair and make-up. This has a lot to do with the fact that when the club was designed, the management made the changing room HUGE!  Expect a page 3 look of glossy hair and tanned skin, with a healthy mixture of English, Latino and Eastern European dancers. They wear a rainbow of long cutaway dresses that cling to curves with spandex and rhinestones. They do lingerie too, but it will usually be on the weekends or after midnight.  Thursday is 50 Shades and Fetish night, whilst drinks offers are on Monday’s and Wdnesdays.

Splashing the cash at a stripclub?

There is an awesome VIP lounge called the Koru Lounge which has a big screen TV, a Playstation (although the games were a bit dated) and its own mini pole that I’ve even seen drunk customers take a spin on. Big black leather sofas and huge buckets waiting to be filled with magnums of vodka and champagne – this is the room that all the celebrities and super VIPs will be discretely ushered into as it has a separate entrance.

The story behind Platinum Lace club:

PL LSQ is the flagship venue of the steadily successful Platinum Lace club chain. It’s owned and operated by Simon Warr, a friendly New Zealander who originally rose to fame running the rival Spearmint Rhino chain during the noughties. At one point there were clubs in Europe as well as dotted all over the UK. It was the golden age of lapdancing.

Design & Décor:

Personally, in my opinion having worked at both clubs, Simon has cleverly taken the elements that worked at Spearmint and improved on them. The clubs have a nicer feel to them – the layout is so much better, so customers and dancers have the space to move around and not feel trapped.  The big bucket chairs grouped around small round tables lit with a single lamp is the same, but the seating round the sides of the club is partitioned into booths, not like a continuous row of bums on seats like Rhino.  The house colours, purple and silver, really complement all the wood details and the lighting is not too overpowering. A hint of pink or some dusky atmospherics beats harsh strobes hands down and is much more flattering on naked flesh. In a club where the dancers make money from private dances alone you need the stage shows to be seductive and xxx – if the customer wants to see more, he’ll have to pay for it.  From a dancers point of view, there is a big difference between the Platinum Lace club and Rhino stages too.  The stage is centered at the back near the private dance booths, so if you get called on stage halfway through a dance you don’t have to manically run across the club and through the crowds to make it on time without being fined. The entrance has these cool waterfall walls, and when I stood behind them I felt like I was in a Bond film. At Platinum Lace club, the pole isn’t as tall as the one at Rhino, but the stage is much wider and if you feel a bit bleurgh it’s possible to remove yourself from the audience’s gaze and do some freestyle floorwork rolling around at the back. Sometime’s a girls gotta be by herself to feel sexy.

LOCATION: in between Leicester Square and Picadilly Circus.  You can find it on my map

Details:  Expect around £20 entry fee. £20 a dance and VIPs around £200 for half an hour. You can buy dance chips on your credit card and it will be hidden in your bank statement under a generic business name.  They do beers, spirits and have a decent champagne list with some surprisingly affordable options.

About author


Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...

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