Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...
That was nice – or so I thought…
She had organised a table at Funky Buddha and a Queen room for the pair of us at the Mayfair hotel – we have been working together a lot recently and had made some great money, plus she had stayed at mine after, being an out-oftowner and all.
It was all going swimmingly.
We met up, had cocktails at the bar before popping into the room and helped each other get ready. We shared make-up, straightened and curled those stray bits of hair the other couldn’t quite reach, tried on each others outfits, gave accessories advice….
We covered the smoke alarm with a shower cap and smoked out of the window as we drank a chilled bottle of room service Veuve Clicquot
Then, happy, buzzy and slightly stumbling we trotted across the road to Funky Buddha – where my girlie partner in crime promptly met an old flame.
That’s when she got really, really drunk and it all began to go wrong
I savour my nights off, and nights out – usually I use my spare time to sit at home, get stoned and chill with pals over a dinner party or alone with a bottle of rioja and a box set.
So tonight felt like a real slap in the face. It was all going so well till a guy got in the way. It’s just that stripper nights out always carry this risk.
Dancers are generally neurotic, slightly asexual creatures – we insist on very high and exact standards in our men as we meet guys every night of our working lives. many girls nurture and breed complexes – such as; ‘don’t tell me what to do’, ‘lets do THAT now’, in ‘THIS’ way, and what can we get out of it, ad infinitum.
It’s sad to help a fellow worker dry her tears in the toilet, as you try and make her understand that she is being spoilt and acting slightly odd and unhinged. If a guy comes on to her at a nightclub, she goes on the defensive – ‘this is my night off, stop getting in my space’, totally forgetting that this is what men do, all the time, everywhere, not just at work.
I’d love to sign off this post saying that I have learnt my lesson, but truth be told, I enjoy wild crazy nights out with beautiful, sexual and predoratory women just as much as anybody, so I’m sure it will happen again soon.
In fact, there is a night out planned next week with girls from Stringfellows, Spearmint Rhino and For Your Eyes Only….