Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...
Last night I walked into work feeling fantastic and a little drunk – I’d visited the hairdressers and had sneaked in a quick dinner and drinks with pals in the city before I started my shift.
You would think that it would be the perfect combo – hot new hair, alcohol boosting my confidence furtehr, a big smile on my face.
Unfortunately it turned out to be my undoing. I got mugged off.
You see, as a dancer whilst you are forced to be happy, smiling and carefree in your sexual allure, you must also stay hyper aware. You are there to work, not to party. Woe betide the dancer who forgets this, misses out on opportunities until it’s too late.
I met a guy at the bar and we went downstairs where he bought a nice bottle of Rose champagne. With a silver AMEX nonetheless. Right, I thought – I’m in here. We chatted and laughed for a while but he wouldn’t go for any dances or buy any dance vouchers – said he hated the pressure and preferred to give the girls money at the end.
Ok, I thought, bit of a gamble but why not? He seems genuine enough.
We had more drinks…and more….by this time I must have been there for about two hours and whilst I hadn’t seen a penny I was very drunk. Besides, he’d promised to pay me at the end, hadn’t he?
We got some shots and I happily threw them back. How fantastic! Laughter and good booze and I don’t even have to give this guy a single lapdance!
Then I got called on stage, right in front of our table. I could dance for him, only for him – he’d be able to see every move, what a great night….. I bounded onto stage and started swinging around the pole, showing off a little with a few pole tricks, spin here, wink there. He was loving it for the first song but then….
He got up and walked out for the second song., giving me a little wave and a ‘thanks!’ as he went past.
That’s right. He gave me a wave. Not a tip. Not the promised payout he’d been going on about befor e- his tirade about how he hated the ‘system’ and liked to pay the girls personally.
Nope. He snuck out as soon as I had to leave his side for a couple of minutes.
I finished my second song set with tears in my bloodshot eyes, tequila stuck in my throat and a scowl across my face.
There was barely an hour left, barely any other customers and my money roll was empty.
See, let it be a warning to any dancers out there. Always get the money upfront, unless you really trust and know the customer, otherwise if you get burnt, it will feel very, very painful indeed…..