Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...
My day to day routine is pretty topsy-turvey, as I work a 9 pm to 5 am shift. I insist on dark bedrooms with blackout blinds and thick curtains, on quiet streets. Even with my best efforts though, I still suffer from insomnia especially when stressed or upset. Followers of me on twitter will know that I have been super upset and broken hearted recently, & that’s meant one thing – a thoroughly modern girl about town diet. Like a fading heroine from valley of the dolls, this little girl turned to drink to forget & drugs to sleep.
At first glance, you have to love a sleeping tablet. Often pretty candy colours – duck egg blue Valium anyone? They knock you out, even when you have been staring at the ceiling for hours waiting & willing yourself to nod off. Plus they have a certain sexy doomed cachet to them. I feel very Great Gatsby in my silk lounge PJs, gulping down a tab or two with the dregs of a wine glass.
Problem for us ladies that like to bare their flesh of an evening is that they give you HUGE bruises. I mean proper blue & black whoppers that can’t be covered by fake tan or foundation. Something to do with thinning your blood apparently. Going into work I had to wear 80denier stockings & a long sleeved dress, otherwise I looked like an A&E victim. I blamed my bruises on an imaginary pole-dancing class, & have started drinking Horlicks with a good book instead….