Sassy by name, Sassy by nature, I write to explode the myths which surround the lapdancing profession - standing up for the clubs, the girls and the customers. Its not always drinking champagne and playing with my tits - it can be hassle, hustling and hangovers. At heart I'm just a regular twenty-something posh cockney living in London who likes taking her clothes off...
After a day of watching gorgeous honed athletic bodies in lycra why quit?
London is hosting the Olympics this year and has sold 10.8 million tickets to the various Olympic and Paralympic events.
That’s a lot of people in London who want to be entertained!
Luckily the city of London has a rich seam of entertainment for tourists to mine, including lap dancing clubs. The first stripclub in London was the Windmill which opened in the 1930s, although nude girls had to stand completely still in tableau form. Luckily attitudes have changed since then and gentleman’s establishments are now fully nude, with alcohol, and are available to the discerning male or female viewer. Many also offer food, live stage shows, and the option to buy dance tokens discreetly using your credit or debit cards. The average price of a dance is £20 per song, the price of VIP varies from £100 to £500 an hour, and some clubs are free, others charge an entrance of up to £20 per person. If you click on my links below you will be directed to the club’s own site and many offer the option to print discount entry vouchers.
If you are visting London for the Olympics I would definitely recommend putting a stripclub visit on your Olympic itinerary. Here are my top 10 stripclubs to visit during the Olympics 2012.
In the heart of bustling Leicester Square, famous for film premieres and casinos, is the relatively new-comer, Platinum Lace. Run by the former boss of Spearmint Rhino, it has quickly established a reputation for being able to host glitzy parties and has won serveral industry awards. It is open from 3pm till 6am every day of the week, (although it shuts at 3am on Sundays) It has several stages, more women than you could shake a stick at and a separate VIP lounge for large parties. They will probably be showing some Olympic athletic sport on a big screen for special heats.
The most famous gentleman’s club in the West End is undoubtedly Stringfellows – it is run by Peter Stringfellow who has become a celebrity in his own right and is famous for having both a high calibre of girls and clientèle. It is based in historic Covent Garden, is open till 4:30, although rumour has it that they have an extended licence till 6am for the Olympic summer season, and has a top notch restaurant serving an excellent steak. However, it is a classy and sophsticated club based on VIP dance packages so smart dress and money to burn are essential.
The original striptease establishment, the Windmill, is based in Soho. It has a fantastic double height pole on its stage and is open till 5:30am.
Up the road is the infamous Spearmint Rhino, a global chain of decadence which has outposts in the USA and Australia. It is packed to the rafters with hot women and throws some excellent shows on the weekend, with fire and burlesque dancers adding some excitement. It seems to be the club which keeps on giving, as it has special drink offers throughout the week and long opening hours from midday till 4am, although on the weekends it opens at 6pm.
With several branches across London, Secrets is definitely good to know. They even have a branch opposite Euston, so if your train at Euston or nearby Kings Cross/St Pancras is delayed, you know where to wait. I wager that the transport and traffic in London will not be running 100% smoothly during the London Olympics, so a few dances in the company of beautiful women from all over the world should help ease the annoyance.
The Olympic village itself is based in Stratford, East London, and there are plenty of establishments to choose from.
The biggest is For Your Eyes Only, which has a whopping 40 VIP and champagne lounges, so no matter how many people come to visit, there will always be room for you. Like Secrets, they are based in the city – London’s equivalent of Wall Street.
Can’t be bothered to go far? Majingo’s – no, I don’t know what the name stands for either – is based in the Dockland’s, so is a mere mile as the crow flies from the stadium itself. It’s open from 6 till 3.
For those that prefer the traditional route, the East End has a long and fine tradition of ‘pound in the pint glass’ strip pubs – YES PUBS! Try Brown’s or The Griffin Here you simply sit down on a bar stool, nursing some brown ale in nice cold glass, and watch the excellent stage shows, before tipping the dancer a minimum of a pound afterwards (more if she’s rocking the pole). The dancer’s will circulate around the club with a pint glass collecting coins and notes after their stage set, and may also offer private dances for the customary score (£20). Also in Shoreditch is The White Horse which is open till midnight, 1am on weekends, and has free entry. All three strip pubs mentioned also have big TV screens so you won’t miss any sporting highlights…..
Last but certainly not least, Metropolis has three floors with some really unique dance areas including a beach, a car wash and a sultan’s harem. I’m not kidding.
I hope that you find my guide to lapdancing bars and stripclubs to visit during the Olympics useful, although remember I am more used to being a lapdancer than a punter! I’d really love to hear from anybody who visits/works at these clubs whilst visiting London for the Olympics, so please leave your thoughts in the comments box. Let’s get it going for gold!